So I have decided to try this blogging thing out. So to start out I have decided I would do the 31 day blogging challenge. So day one is to introduce myself. So here we go (embrace yourself this could be wonderful or flat out boring, but it will be honest).
Let's face it introductions suck. First off your really not sure where to start, besides giving out the usually name, where your from and what you do. So very generic and very seldom does it really tell anyone who you really are. So, instead of telling you my name and what I do and all that bs I am going to introduce you to the raw me. The one few know or understand. Some that do know feel the need to try to correct it or fix it. Well, after 38 years it hasn't been corrected or fixed and I am okay with that, I apologize if your not. So, here we go! (Oh by the way I am just going to write I will correct some typing errors and some I won't because I am not perfect nor will I pretend to be, so if your one to get irritated at typos, misplaced or forgotten commas (my most common mistakes) get ready to get frustrated. Sorry, but not really its all part of me!)
I can be a very passionate person. Doesn't matter where or when or even whose around. My passion comes from within and I often allow it to flow freely. Some cannot handle that and that's okay with me. Your not gonna hurt my feelings and I don't need you to try to make it okay with me or others. What I mean by this is I can be a very loving and caring person, however, I can also become very passionate when I am irritated, upset or mad. So there is a very good chance that at some point I will either offend, upset, or set you off. I don't do this intentionally. But once I pop, I pop. My thoughts will come out exactly how I am thinking them, or at least I think they do. I don't need you to fix me or try to appease me. I definitely don't need your thoughts on how inappropriate I am being. I will come to that conclusion on my own but with my stubborn self if you choose to tell me it will set me off again and make we want to refuse to acknowledge what an ass I am being. In fact I will turn it on you being the ass. Its just how I am. I am able to keep things to myself and in my head for quite awhile before I voice my thoughts. So when I do begin to voice my concerns, or stress, its not new. I have been battling it within myself for awhile before I ever let anyone else know that I am concerned. I am this way with everything from loving to being irritated. I observe the situation before putting myself out there. I am okay with this, however, some are not, I am okay with that, too. But don't try to speak for me or try to make sense of me to someone you think I have offended. I don't need that. I need to be able to do that on my own and if you take that away from me I will never do it. Main reason is because you have given me something new to be irritated about.
My passion isn't only expressed through frustrations like it sounds up there but it is through seeing me deal with my frustrations and stress levels that you will probably decide if you like me or not. I just want you to know don't take it personal because in no way do I mean for you to do so. If I want it to be personal you would know because I would point blank tell you. But usually I will not go that route I will sort it out in my own head.
So I am passionate about my family and friends. Very much so. I would do anything for them that is physically, mentally or possible for me to do. I love those I surround myself with. I am very much a people person and don't do well to be left alone with my own thoughts to long. My imagination will run wild and I would drive a crazy person insane. This does not mean I can't handle being alone, I can, I just don't like it after a certain point. There are times I need to be alone. I need to be with my thoughts to sort them and decide if I am on the correct path for myself. But that doesn't last long. I need people. I need family and I need friends. When I don't have this I am totally out of my comfort zone because its back to the awkward lame introduction stuff. No really knowing anyone just faking it till you make it. I don't do well with that. Part of the reason is its kinda hard for me to tell if you can handle me. So I protect myself and go on guard to determine whether I think you can handle the true me. The one you are being introduced here. Just like most rejection is hard and if I can avoid it I will.
I am also passionate about many things. I love to learn new things. I love trying new stuff and going to new places. I find causes I believe it and become utterly passionate about it. It invades my brain and doesn't let go until I have sufficiently shown my passion for it. One cause I am passionate about and becoming more so is about Alzheimer Awareness. But I am sure I will be blogging about that soon enough. When I get involve, volunteer or commit to something I will give it my all. I will do my best to succeed. However, this is another way I tend to set others off. I don't do it intentionally and by far do I do it to get attention.Because honestly I could careless about myself. But if I am working with a group of people I lack the patience to sit back and wait for someone to finally give in or volunteer for a minor task. I know my limits and I do well to stay within them. But if I know I can get the job done I will step up to do it. But I believe that others see this as me trying to be in the spot light. Really I don't like that place, I just want what I am working for or with to succeed so I will jump in feet first, gloves on and ready to go. I lack the patience to sit back and wonder who will do a task that most often takes less than an hour to accomplish. I will give others a chance to speak up but if no one will and the job needs to be done, I will. Now saying this I want to point I know my own personal limits. I know when I am tapped out and can't handle any more. But I also know how to say "No" without feeling guilty, too. But this is a big piece of who I am. I don't sit back and wait for the action, I am the one in the front seat saying let's go!
This is a big piece of who I am. Many don't understand, some never get close enough for me to show them and others battle me over it. I am not sure I would change it about me because it does keep me grounded. I have my certain people that I can rebound my thoughts or that I can say exactly what I need in my own language and know that they will listen or offer their thoughts but they can handle the raw me. The one many never get to see. They may experience part of it, heck they may be put off by it. But in almost every instance I never intentionally try to hurt someone (that would break my heart and spirit) but when I am frustrated I can hit a breaking point. I can also be very loving and caring that I may seem overbearing and I don't mean to, I just want what is best for you. If you ask me I will more than likely tell you what I think and if I don't my face will give you the answer before my words ever could.
I could tell you the stuff most already know or would learn in five minutes of conversations. But this here is what you would need to know about me so that you can actually gain understanding about me. I am a passionate person. My passions run extremely high, whether its love or frustration. But its usually the frustration or the uncertainty, or my pulling in to determine if my surrounds can handle me, that puts people off or worse sets them off. Which is, usually, never, my intentions.
This is my introduction. May be wordy, full of typos and totally random but if you were to take the chance to know me I am sure this is what you would learn about me....quickly. Here's to day one.....bring on day two!
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